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How to Make Black Holes From Golf Holes (A not-too-serious essay, with some serious implications)

Valyn C. Williams
Year: 1983
Keywords: black holes, golf holes, orbit, attracts, golfers, course
Our new neighborhood postal substation was built across the street from the entrance to a nine-hole golf course, and even though golf was never before my game, I have learned now that my neighbors are attracted to those nine holes rather frequently. Also, my careful study revealed that each and every hold attracts their balls, their carts, and rather massive equipment, as well as the golfers themselves. They all seem to move in a slow orbit around the center of the course, obviously being attracted by all nine holes, as well as by each individual hole.